Why is it so hard...

I wanted to start this blog a long time ago to stay accountable and get closer to God, meet new friends and lose weight.  So far the only thing I have done is break up with a boyfriend who did not push me towards the Lord just the opposite...I thank the Lord for opening my eyes to who this person was before I wasted anymore time running away from the Lord. 
My blog will be short and to the point...I want to honor the Lord in everything I do and say.
I will be writing everyday even when I don't want to which is like everyday!!!

Making Good Choices...LOVE you Lord,

READY!!!

Looking over my last blogs over and over I talk about wanting to change but willing to stay in a relationship that was not pleasing to the Lord and not willing to give it up because I have no self esteem and really did not want to be alone and was willing to play in the puddle instead of going over the hill to the beautiful lake on the other side (Beth Moore).  I really want Gods best in my life but I now everytime I get close to Gods will...I get impatient and do it myself and end up waisting another 4 years on a relationship where the guy does not Love the Lord.  This is not an option ANYMORE.  From this point on in my Life the Lord is the Number one in my life and if He chooses to bring a Man into my life.  I will not compromise ever again, I will not settle because I end up being more alone because I'm trying to share my life with someone who I can not share the Lord with or if I do they end up saying that they believe there is a God but they don't feel that they have to go to church or pray in order to show that they believe in God they are good person and that is all that matters and for awhile I believe this is true and as long as they know there is a God.  But this is not what I want...I want to be in a relationship that pushes me towards the Lord and brings me closer to Him!!!!!!!!!  I Love the Lord and He is my number one and even if I never get to share my life with a Man that is His choice.  I'm satisfied knowing that I'm honoring the Lord in my life and serving Him and I know that I will be happy with the LORD!!  I'm READY Lord.  This journey is going to be hard and my flesh will rear its head but I'm going to pray that the Lord will continue to guide me and keep my focus on Him and what He has planned for me and remember that I do deserve His best and He is worth the wait because His plans are not to harm me and when I do it on my own it does harm me!  He paid the ultimate price for me and I owe it to Him to honor Him with everything I do.  So I'm going to start by talking care of the ONe body he has given me.  I have not honored the Lord in taking care of my body...I destory my body in order to not live my life to stay at home and get more depressed but this is not what the Lord wants for me He wants me to have a wonderful life and be able to do what ever He wants me to do and at this time I hide at my house alot eating and watching TV because its safer for me so that I don't have to be around people...THIS is not what the Lord has planned for me.  I'm REALLY , REALLY ready!!!

I Love you Lord,

EXCUSES,EXCUSES,EXCUSES...

I think I have an excuse for everything that I do and don't do...I haven't been blogging because I haven't been doing anything.  I got sick and used it as an excuse not to workout even after reading a post that said even to do at least 10 mins a day just to be doing something.
I really want to be in God's will and to lose weight...and yet its always. I'm tired, I'll start in the morning, and then I sleep right through my alarm or I get up and change the time on my alarm and think to myself I really need my sleep so I will work out tonight and then when I get off work I convince myself that I'm to tired and I will go home and go staight to bed and get up in the morning and start then and convince myself this time no excuses I will do this and then the next morning comes and I do the same thing over and over and over again!! 
How do I get out of this rut how do I finally do what I want to do??  Wasn't it Paul that said why does my body do what I don't want it to do...could he have struggled just like I do??  Why does it have to be so hard?  Why can't I finish at least one thing that I start?  I know that God does not want me to be fat He wants me to treat my body as a temple for Him. 
I know it will not happen over night and I know there is no magic pill that I can take and I can't talk about it anymore I have to put action behind it...I have to do this and if I don't I fear that I will live this one presious Life God has blessed me unhappy and depressed and I'm so tired of being depressed and not doing what God has put me on this earth to do even though I have no idea what that is.
I look at others peoples lives and this is nothing compared to what some people are going through in their lives from sickness to loss of loved ones and so much more but it doesn't make it any less and hard to go through.  And to know that God cares just as much for them and what they are going through as He does about me and what I'm struggling with...that is an Amazing God!!
Well I will let you know how the rest of my week goes:)

Making good choices,

God's Gifts

Ok, does this ever happen to you...you make a plan and then get sick!!  That is what happened to me this weekend.  On Friday I went to my friends and we took pictures and everything to start p90x which I'm super excited about.  And on Friday I was hit with a cold that has lasted the whole weekend.  I'm hoping by the morning I'm going to feel 100% better. 
But one thing good came out of being sick I watched 3 really good movies that really touched me.  My favorite was "Gifted Hands" the true story of Dr. Ben Carson...what an inspiring movie.  This is a great family movie and for singles too!  I know that God has given each one of us gifts to use here on this earth...but I know that I'm not using mine and this movie has inspired me to find my gift (seek and you shall find).


Making Good Choices,

LORD I NEED YOU...

Changing my life is a challenge...but I know it is going to be well worth it. One thing I do know is for the last year I have been so focused on what I want...to be in a relationship and in love. But I have not focused on the One who is Love and is the One who writes my Love story. I have been trying to write it myself and its not working even though I'm with an amazing Man I have been so unhappy. This journey is not only about losing weight, but about finding my way BACK to my Father who Loves me more than anything in the world!! I know in the Word it says He never stops loving us and my heart knows that, but my head says No way. I DO LOVE YOU LORD. Help me find my way home and back into Your arms!!!!

Making Good Choices,

I WILL DO THIS...

Ok...this week so far has not been great but for the first time in my life I'm determined to do this and not stay the way I'am these are choices!! It can't be as hard as I'm making it:o)
Starting on Friday I'm starting P90x along with a friend of mine and we are going to take pictures with newspaper and all...after the first 3 mths I will post my first before and after pictures but I'm not going to start all over just because I'm starting that on Friday...I'm going to still cont to eat well and also going to walk Gracie tonight after work and stay focused.
I will not let my mind win on this one I will retrain my brain and retrain myself to get up in the morning!!

Making good choices,

First Day at it...

Ok so this morning was not good...I have 5 alarm clocks and slept right through all of them didn't wake up till 7am having to be to work at 8am. But I'm not going to let this get me down. I have been doing great on my eating today and I'm going to workout tonight. I will post later on everything I do after I get off work at 5pm.
So far today I have eaten: 1/2 cup cherrios, some cheezets, one pretzel, bannana, and for lunch a chicken salad. I have already drank my 8 glasses of water for the day but going to cont to drink though out the day.
Well I have to get back to work so I will post later:)

Making Good Choices,
Michelle