Sunday, January 31, 2010


Looking over my last blogs over and over I talk about wanting to change but willing to stay in a relationship that was not pleasing to the Lord and not willing to give it up because I have no self esteem and really did not want to be alone and was willing to play in the puddle instead of going over the hill to the beautiful lake on the other side (Beth Moore).  I really want Gods best in my life but I now everytime I get close to Gods will...I get impatient and do it myself and end up waisting another 4 years on a relationship where the guy does not Love the Lord.  This is not an option ANYMORE.  From this point on in my Life the Lord is the Number one in my life and if He chooses to bring a Man into my life.  I will not compromise ever again, I will not settle because I end up being more alone because I'm trying to share my life with someone who I can not share the Lord with or if I do they end up saying that they believe there is a God but they don't feel that they have to go to church or pray in order to show that they believe in God they are good person and that is all that matters and for awhile I believe this is true and as long as they know there is a God.  But this is not what I want...I want to be in a relationship that pushes me towards the Lord and brings me closer to Him!!!!!!!!!  I Love the Lord and He is my number one and even if I never get to share my life with a Man that is His choice.  I'm satisfied knowing that I'm honoring the Lord in my life and serving Him and I know that I will be happy with the LORD!!  I'm READY Lord.  This journey is going to be hard and my flesh will rear its head but I'm going to pray that the Lord will continue to guide me and keep my focus on Him and what He has planned for me and remember that I do deserve His best and He is worth the wait because His plans are not to harm me and when I do it on my own it does harm me!  He paid the ultimate price for me and I owe it to Him to honor Him with everything I do.  So I'm going to start by talking care of the ONe body he has given me.  I have not honored the Lord in taking care of my body...I destory my body in order to not live my life to stay at home and get more depressed but this is not what the Lord wants for me He wants me to have a wonderful life and be able to do what ever He wants me to do and at this time I hide at my house alot eating and watching TV because its safer for me so that I don't have to be around people...THIS is not what the Lord has planned for me.  I'm REALLY , REALLY ready!!!

I Love you Lord,


  1. Jeremiah 29:13

    13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

    Sounds like you are on your way. Prayers for you

    In His perfect Love,

  2. Wow! I hear commitment and I love it. Holding you up in prayer here. blessings, marlene

  3. Michelle, I came over here to tell you how much I liked your comment on Lelia's post. How inspiring. I wish I could be at that point of contentment being alone or rather being unable to share the love in my heart with a life partner. I expressed such in my comment to Lelia. Then, I come here to comment regarding that and see that you have a beautifully written post. Such a great thing. I pray for such contentment and peace with being alone. But I'm not. I'm not content in the King's love alone...not when I'm really and truly honest. And that is shameful and sad.

  4. Oh, I love what you say about not wanting a man that brings you away from God but rather one that draws you closer and closer to God. Amen sister. Being with the wrong person can be such detriment to our relationship with God. I try to remember that when I'm alone...that at least now I'm walking toward God unlike being with someone who could possibly pull me down. That's why I would never even communicate with anyone who doesnt' profess to be a Christian and then if they aren't at least as equally yoked (at my level or higher) then I'd turn away. I think even a baby Christian or someone younger in Christ than us can still delay our growth, that growth that never ends until we see Jesus.

  5. Oh, me again...wish we lived close...we could endure singlehood together, closer. We could eat raw brocolli and wallow in our sorrows. haha..

  6. Since it is the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.............................................

  7. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you will not have a leg to stand on.............................................

  8. 無一事而不學,無一時而不學,無一處而不學。........................................