Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I think I have an excuse for everything that I do and don't do...I haven't been blogging because I haven't been doing anything.  I got sick and used it as an excuse not to workout even after reading a post that said even to do at least 10 mins a day just to be doing something.
I really want to be in God's will and to lose weight...and yet its always. I'm tired, I'll start in the morning, and then I sleep right through my alarm or I get up and change the time on my alarm and think to myself I really need my sleep so I will work out tonight and then when I get off work I convince myself that I'm to tired and I will go home and go staight to bed and get up in the morning and start then and convince myself this time no excuses I will do this and then the next morning comes and I do the same thing over and over and over again!! 
How do I get out of this rut how do I finally do what I want to do??  Wasn't it Paul that said why does my body do what I don't want it to do...could he have struggled just like I do??  Why does it have to be so hard?  Why can't I finish at least one thing that I start?  I know that God does not want me to be fat He wants me to treat my body as a temple for Him. 
I know it will not happen over night and I know there is no magic pill that I can take and I can't talk about it anymore I have to put action behind it...I have to do this and if I don't I fear that I will live this one presious Life God has blessed me unhappy and depressed and I'm so tired of being depressed and not doing what God has put me on this earth to do even though I have no idea what that is.
I look at others peoples lives and this is nothing compared to what some people are going through in their lives from sickness to loss of loved ones and so much more but it doesn't make it any less and hard to go through.  And to know that God cares just as much for them and what they are going through as He does about me and what I'm struggling with...that is an Amazing God!!
Well I will let you know how the rest of my week goes:)

Making good choices,

Sunday, October 11, 2009

God's Gifts

Ok, does this ever happen to make a plan and then get sick!!  That is what happened to me this weekend.  On Friday I went to my friends and we took pictures and everything to start p90x which I'm super excited about.  And on Friday I was hit with a cold that has lasted the whole weekend.  I'm hoping by the morning I'm going to feel 100% better. 
But one thing good came out of being sick I watched 3 really good movies that really touched me.  My favorite was "Gifted Hands" the true story of Dr. Ben Carson...what an inspiring movie.  This is a great family movie and for singles too!  I know that God has given each one of us gifts to use here on this earth...but I know that I'm not using mine and this movie has inspired me to find my gift (seek and you shall find).

Making Good Choices,

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Changing my life is a challenge...but I know it is going to be well worth it. One thing I do know is for the last year I have been so focused on what I be in a relationship and in love. But I have not focused on the One who is Love and is the One who writes my Love story. I have been trying to write it myself and its not working even though I'm with an amazing Man I have been so unhappy. This journey is not only about losing weight, but about finding my way BACK to my Father who Loves me more than anything in the world!! I know in the Word it says He never stops loving us and my heart knows that, but my head says No way. I DO LOVE YOU LORD. Help me find my way home and back into Your arms!!!!

Making Good Choices,

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Ok...this week so far has not been great but for the first time in my life I'm determined to do this and not stay the way I'am these are choices!! It can't be as hard as I'm making it:o)
Starting on Friday I'm starting P90x along with a friend of mine and we are going to take pictures with newspaper and all...after the first 3 mths I will post my first before and after pictures but I'm not going to start all over just because I'm starting that on Friday...I'm going to still cont to eat well and also going to walk Gracie tonight after work and stay focused.
I will not let my mind win on this one I will retrain my brain and retrain myself to get up in the morning!!

Making good choices,

Monday, October 5, 2009

First Day at it...

Ok so this morning was not good...I have 5 alarm clocks and slept right through all of them didn't wake up till 7am having to be to work at 8am. But I'm not going to let this get me down. I have been doing great on my eating today and I'm going to workout tonight. I will post later on everything I do after I get off work at 5pm.
So far today I have eaten: 1/2 cup cherrios, some cheezets, one pretzel, bannana, and for lunch a chicken salad. I have already drank my 8 glasses of water for the day but going to cont to drink though out the day.
Well I have to get back to work so I will post later:)

Making Good Choices,

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Wanting to be thin...

I went and played volleyball tonight and had fun but the sand was so cold my feet went numb:). I ate well today and prepared food for the week. Going to be taking my lunch to work. I'm also going to get my clothes ready for work tonight so one less thing I have to do in the morning...I'm getting up at 4:30am there is a water class at 5:30am at PLF that I'm going to attend.
Not sure if anyone will ever read this but it doesn't matter. Everything that I say I'm going to do I'm actually going to do it!!

Have a great night and make good choices!!!


Wanting to be thin...

I have always struggled with my weight or with what I thought I should look like...looking back I was never a heavy girl but in my eye I was always big.

I can remember playing volleyball and my Mom having to take me to the sporting good store to buy a pair of black short and making them put stripes down the side so they looked like the shorts the other girls had because I could not fit into any of the shorts they provided for us.

I'm sure we all have stories that stay with us over the years. I always talk about what I'm going to do to change. I write out goals over and over again, get online and find that magic pill that will give me the jump start I need. I say to myself I know a pill won't help me keep the weight off but I just need a jump start to get started then I will workout and keep the weight off. I have used every excuse in the book...I'm to tired, work to much I have to eat out cause I'm on the go so much don't have time to cook, I will start on Monday, I feel uncomfortable working out at the gym because everyone has great bodies and I feel stupid, I'm not a morning person, and the list goes on and on.

Well I'm starting this blog even though I'm terrible at writing and really don't know what I'm doing but I just turned 37 and all my excuses are over!! Over all my years of struggling with my weight this is what I have learned...I have wasted a lot of years not doing things that I wanted to do because of my weight. Going to the pool with my Nieces and Nephew, not wanting to go out with my boyfriend because none of my clothes fit and I didn't want to go and get a bigger size, and so much more that I know I didn't do because I was overweight and my self esteem is gone. I know that in order to lose weight it is going to take time and a lot of hard work on my part!!

I work part time at Prairie Life Fitness so I work everyday with dedicated people who thrive on keeping in shape and they take the time everyday to make it to the gym and put in 30 to an hour to taking care of themselves. They make it look effortless and I struggle...I thought working at the club would motivate me to lose weight. Instead I leave the second I get off work go home telling myself I will get up in the morning and start fresh...I'm just so tired I need to go home relax so I go grab something to eat and rent a movie and stay up way to late to even think about getting up early to workout...I will just start the next day.

Well not only turning 37 and looking toward 40 and being single with no kids, today my boyfriend and I where talking and in our conversation he said "why don't you try finishing something you started." He didn't say this in a mean way just curious and it made me stop and think...I have told so many people my plans of what I want to do and have written so many goals and my to do list but have never followed though on one single thing...until now.

The other day at work at PLF I was talking to one of our trainers RJ and I was telling him how hard I struggle and He just looked at me and said that he struggles too. Wow here I thought it was so easy for him. I thought about what He said and thought he is no different from me when it comes to not wanting to workout but he makes the choice to just DO IT! There that is the difference...I make the choice to be unhappy and thick no one else I choose to not want to workout and go home and stop at McDonald's and Runza on my way home to watch a movie. And while I'm watching that movie I'm thinking I wish I looked like her. I hate my life why can't I just be thin. Well there is the answer because I'm choosing not to be for what ever reason I'm choosing to close myself off from life and not live it. For some people they might have a condition that makes them heavy but for me it is a choice. And I'm choosing to change that not starting Monday but starting today!

This is why I'm going to blog because I know that I'm not the only one who struggles with working out and eating well and I need all the help I can get to be accountable to others and help others make good choices too. I don't know what all to do but I will learn. I have done it all from weight watchers to reading all the books and trying all the diets especially the ones that promise to lose 10lbs in a week and all you drink is this gross drink that is supposed to clean you out...Not anymore I'm going to do it the way I know it works and that is working out, walking and eating well and giving it time to work not focusing on the scale but on how I feel and journaling and that is what I will do here.